(no subject)

So it's been nine months. I guess I'm back.

Couldn't even remember what email I used to sign-in.

Hope I don't sound to different. A bit dry, I guess, but not that far from usual.

I'm at the end of my last semester, I'm going to go to university, I hope. I have to make do. I have to do it. Don't want to disappoint even more people.

Mom may be going away too. I'll be alone.

I don't want to be alone. It seems like she doesn't want to leave me either, but things happen. Can't change it.

I don't feel ready.

I may have to get a roomie to make a living. I may have to quit school too. I may have to become a hooker to get money for food. I don't know.

And I can't voice any of my concerns to mom. She still doesn't even let me finish talking before she starts droning about how I am her greatest failure.

Don't know what I'm doing anymore.
  • Current Mood: depressed depressed


So I'm curious about the Victorian Tussie-Mussie art and flower language, but I can't seem to find the "code" for it. I'm even considering to learn Hanakotoba once I am able to master the Tussie-Mussie.

The scent of a soul

Zehehk X Marlin-Marlow

The breeze pure and salty as the ocean. Oh, the void, the void, the cruel emptiness of a lonely heart. Oh, poor man, that who has been looking for his other half from way back.

«Marlin, Dear Marlin» Zehehk missed him, all of him. The memories still lingered crystal clear on his mind. «Sweet Marlin» His voice was hoarse, the spirit was tired of his endless travel but the hope never faltered. He knew it would take time, spiritual reconstruction wasn't quick nor easy and usually it took various attempts for it to be complete.

He knew the possibilities of reunion, it had to be a beach, the same place they both parted ways. Images of that tragic night were able to bring tears back, the agonizing moans of pain from his beloved. But Zehehk couldn’t let them fall, never. It was for the best, his quest a mean to achieve it. He could do it. He would.

All left to do was wait. It was for Marlin. For him.

Pollution attacked fiercely the waters and air, «Hideous», a condescending word directed at the shore. It was worrying. How will Marlin live, if not in the clean currents of the big blue? He would die prey of the toxins of mankind if not by the monster itself.

Marlin used to keep the waters clean and secure, Zehehk remembered vaguely every time he would get upset about the fish dying. He used to bent his anger screaming and breaking rocks by the shore, then used them to build refuges for the sea habitants.

One stray little tear rolled down the tanned skin. Every time Zehehk had a look of the memory lane he wanted to die himself, specially when he remembered the precious little details; the way Marlin's eyes would light up while looking at the night sky, the shining and thin scales he sported, and lastly, the faint smell of what he could call “happiness” when being together.

«Like sour whine and dry Azalea» A weird combination indeed but it was very unique, a unique scent for a unique soul.

  • Current Mood: accomplished
  • Current Music: Total Eclipse of the Heart
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I may be too sensible...

I sure as hell don't like being on someones house while shit blows up.

Uncle Luis is ANGRY because he lost money and I'm using his computer for homework but it's in his room so he was all "GODDAMNIT, WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME? THIS IS WHY I SHOULD GO TO A FUCKING HOTEL TO REST AFTER WORK'S SHIT".
Actually I think he sensed that I was damn scared, don't get me wrong, I AM scared, so he's actually on the kitchen arguing with granny about I don'tknowwhat (I'm using headphones to block out) but he sounds angry still.

I don't like when he's angry, makes me feel as if he'll beat me any second for nothing. He's big and intimidating usually. It gets worst when he's angry.


Soooo mom's reeeaally angry at me. She saw my grades at the school's meeting and practicaly said to me that I had to choose between studying or get a job and start paying ALL the bills; if I wanted her to watch me as if I was a little kid and show her all the homework I've done everyday, and that I was mediocre and all my friends were mediocre too.

So I may stop posting for a while. I know, I don't post that much, but we're talking about months here so...


I'm so damn tired. I just finished an assignment that was due tomorrow and I'm pretty proud to say, I just finished 1/4 of my homework. And all of it is from the same class. Yay.

Can't feel my ass as I've been sitting on a hard wood chair for 13 hours, my eyes are itchy 'cause of the screen.

I'm going to bed.

Happy birthday Mr.DJ. I'll congratulate you properly tomorrow.
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Lights out

Some junkie just stole the lightbulb of the yard, my mom's window was open and it's right under it so she was all "WHO DA'FUCK IS THERE?!!!" and then she ran to open the back door with a large cooking knife in hand. I was so scared. My mom doesn't scream, NEVER. So I asked what happened and she told me "SOME ASS STOLE THE LIGHTBULB, THE NERVE!! A FUCKING LIGHTBULB! WHO STEALS A LIGHTBULB?!", she vas talking loud so every neighbor could hear her, like a security code or something. Then she left me after saying "CLOSE THE DOORS AND STAY ALERT".

She assured me that the police was coming because whoever they were they have almost all the lightbulbs of the neighborhood.

Stupid junkies, now mom's SO MAD and I'm restless.
  • Current Mood: scared scared